So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize