nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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