I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I have demons in me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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