I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
