Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
