you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
