Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
