Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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