Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
