Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
