I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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