There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
