belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
