Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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