I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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