I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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