Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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