he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
