how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
