I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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