I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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