"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
