I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
