apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
