If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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