A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
