curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
