ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
