I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
