How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
