I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
this is an emotional support booty call
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
