Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize