Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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