She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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