What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I am midnight drunk by noon
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
