Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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