So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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