Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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