addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
