maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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