did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
