If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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