my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
