oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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