Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
