Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
