Sponge bath it is.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
