If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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