***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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