There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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