I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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