Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
