Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
