That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
