I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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